It’s a lovely thing to connect with another person, to share your life with them, and to grow alongside them as a person. But it’s also true that doing so is both a privilege for you and them. It’s a lot to expect of another person to commit themselves to you, and it’s a lot for them to expect of you also.
For this reason, it can’t hurt to wait until you’re certain this is the one you wish to stay with before progressing. Of course, this isn’t exactly an uncommon situation, as many individuals will wait at least a couple of years between meeting and deciding to progress their relationship to full commitment, such as by becoming married.
But how can you know if your partner is the one to invest your life into? Now, none of us can truly predict the future, but there are ways of making sure you’re at least making the decision with good sense. If your partner shows some of the following virtues, it may be worth going forward and taking your connection seriously:
You Can Be The Most Vulnerable Around Them
It's a special thing when you can let your guard down completely with someone. That means you feel like you can show all the sides of yourself - the good, the bad, and the sometimes messy. If you can share your deepest fears, wildest dreams, and silliest thoughts without feeling judged, that's something to hold onto because that person is willing to accept you. Of course, that’s not necessarily the same as dumping emotions on constantly and expecting them to help you at your convenience, but more about feeling safe and like you belong there, even when you're not at your best. Sometimes though, you may need to feel safe, like when going with them to an unplanned pregnancy organization or dealing with a loss in the family. When you can be truly yourself, and your partner still looks at you like you're their favorite person - that's a pretty good sign.
The Relationship Isn’t, And Likely Never Was, Transactional
It’s essential to remember that love isn't about keeping score with one another. In a solid relationship, both people give freely without constantly thinking about what they're getting back. In other words, it should be a deep friendship and not just romance. It's not a case of "I did the dishes, so you owe me a back rub." Instead, it's more like both of you naturally want to make each other's lives better because that makes your life better too. So in other words, instead of 50:50, both should put in 100%.
You Share, But Most Importantly Embody, Values & Principles
Sure, it's great when you and your partner see eye to eye on the big ideas and of course some morals need to be matched. But it's even better when you both actually live those shared values and can discuss and grow with them. It’s actually healthy not to have someone around who just parrots everything you think, of course, but without the ability to embody the changing views you both have, even agreements are relatively worthless.
With this advice, you’re sure to know if your partner is someone worth investing your time into.
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